sollte nicht schwer sein an den Pass ranzukommen

Hi  xxxxxxxxxx, again. I began writing the letter in the morning. Now it
is 2 p.m. already. Can you imagine? I have just returned with children
from  walk.  We  have  well  spent time in the street. Today here good
enough  weather  though  it is a little cool. In my group there is one
very  interesting boy. Today, when we walked he the bruise to itself a
knee, with him all in the full order now has fallen also. I asked him:
What  do  you  dream  about?  He  answered  that he dreams to become a
grownup  because  grownups  do  not  have problems. It was so funny. I
often  remember  childhood.  I  always dreamed to become a grown up as
soon  as  possible. As every child I completely believed that grownups
do  not  have  problems  at all. I dreamt in the childhood and I dream
now. Of course, the world of dreams is an illusive world. We live in a
real  life,  so  we  cannot  to  sink  into  the  world  of dreams and
phantasies for long. When a dream becomes obsession, it can bring only
pain  and disappointment. Practically dreams do not always realize. It
happens  that you use all power, all aspiration to make the dream come
true. But as much you try, not all in this life depend on us. When the
dream  for  a long time does not come true, as though you did not try,
dream ceases to be that star, which was for you lighthouse in ocean of
the  life,  which illuminated your way. But anyway, I think that it is
impossible  to  live  without dreams and hopes. When there is a dream,
the  life is filled with sense. The dreams are those things that do us
people  that  distinguishes  us  from  the whole rest alive world. The
dreams  contribute variety in ordinary and grey life. The dreams force
to  think,  analyse,  choose  and  come to a conclusion. The Faith and
Hope-  an eternal satellites of our lifs. And regardless of what waits
you at the end, joy of the victories and subordinated tops we remember
better,  than  disappointment  and  pain of the defeats. xxxxxxxx, you
agree  with me? I am surprised that I write you all this. I have never
had  a  person,  with  whom  I could share my thoughts. But now I have
found  you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my frankness. If I said
something superfluous forgive me please. Do you like when your friends
come  to your home? I like very much when my friends come at my place.
I  like  to  cook and that's why I regale them different tasty dishes.
Ekaterina  is  a good cooker too and she often helps me. We often cook
different  dishes  and  regale  each other. I also like to watch films
with  my  friends  at  my place. It is a pity I do not have VHS or DVD
players. But in Kazan we have 8 TV channels and sometimes go to movie.
Our flats are very bad equiped for live. I even do not have telephone.
In  Kazan  few  families  have  home telephones. I know that it sounds
wildly,  but  you  have  to  understand  that Russia began to develope
several  tears  ago.  xxxxxxx, i told you that I visited Ekaterina in
hospital.  I was there for two hours and Ekaterina was very happy that
I would spend her birthday with her. She told me that may be she would
not  be in the hospital for long. She has not complicated inflammation
of  the  throat.  I  brought  Ekaterina  a chocolate cake, flowers and
balloons.  These  balloons are one colour, blue - this is my favourite
colour.  And  I  hope that Ekaterina like it too. And do you like blue
colour?  Ekaterina  and  I spoke about you. I said that you are a very
good  man. Ekaterina told me and wished good luck in my relations with
you. I will wait for your letter with impatience. Elvira



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Hi  my friend, xxxxxx!!!! I am very glad that you have written. Many
thanks. You have again raised my mood and have placed a happy smile on
my  face.  By  the  way xxxxxxxx, today I went to job being absolutely
confident  that  you  write to me today. Earlier I always went with an
thought  that  you  probably  yet  have not written, but today for the
first  time  I  went  with  an  thought that your letter waits for me.
already  Ekaterina  works  in  a  kindergarten  as  well as I. We work
together.  I  a tutor and she an assistant of the tutor - a nurse. But
Ekaterina  is not my assistant, she helps other tutor. Today I will go
to  her  in  hospital  once  again. I hope that soon Ekaterina will be
healthy  and  we  will  be  happy  to  meet  in our Kindergarten. Dear
xxxxxx,  I think that could arrive in Germany once. Probably, when I
will  have  the  vacation,  we can plan it? I like to cook and to wash
cloths  but  sometimes I would like to receive simple caress, love and
attention.  I  do  not want to offend all the men. Of course there are
good  men  in  Russia, but there are few of them. Men frequently speak
dirty  words (not normative lexicon) when speak with lady and consider
that  in  it  there  is nothing bad. I had boyfriend. We had good time
together.  He  was  kind.  But he liked to drink. When he got drunk he
became  an  absolutely  other  person.  He talked with me with bad and
dirty  words.  The time passed and his love to alcohol became a habit.
He  became  another person - rude and evil. Has taken a great interest
in  beating me, frequently struck and knocked me by hands and the next
day  he  smiled and talked with me as if nothing had happened. I began
to  be afraid of him and and I have left him. My soul was wounded very
much.  After  this I could not make myself get acquainted with another
man.  Now  I do not trust Russian men. I am afraid to give my love but
get  in  lieu  thereof  the  roughness. If you have disagreements with
lady,  you can apply roughness? But I do not want to finish the letter
with  not  good  words.  So, xxxxxxx I will tell you about Ekaterina.
Soon  she  will recover. Ekaterina feels good and sais hello to you. I
hope  that  soon  she  will be at home and returns to the work. I feel
lonely  without  her.  We  spent  good  time  during the dinner in the
kindergarten  canteen. The love does not submit to any laws and rules.
Many  consider  that to understand true love, years are necessary. But
so  frequently  people  spend years to study each other, to understand
that  are  created to each other, try to understand love it whether or
not.  Years will pass, life will pass, and people understand that they
were mistaken. But at the same time so frequently is enough one glance
to  understand  that  this person- destiny. I think and I am sure that
the love does not happen identical. For love really there are no laws,
barrier, rules and textbooks. I feel, that with each letter you become
closer,  we  search for the same things in the person, but at the same
time I should be sure in my feelings to you as will prompt me heart. I
shall wait, to miss, kiss!!! Your Elvira!



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Hi, xxxxxxxx! How your mood? I hope that up to my letter your mood was
fine,  but after my letter your mood became superfine  Likely I too
self-confident.  But  I  am  happy again because I have again received
your  letter.  I  so  waited  this  minute,  when  I can write to you.
Yesterday  I went to Ekaterina and told her that you told her hello. I
think you don't mind it? I hope that sometimes you will get aquainted.
You  will  understand  that friend can be more that brother or sister.
Dear  xxxxx,  you have very much interested me in the offer. I will
necessarily  think  over  it and later I will inform you the decision.
Tomorrow  difficult  day waits for me. Tomorrow I again work in dental
mobile  car.  I  did not say it to you yet. But it happens only once a
week. Dental mobile car - automobile which is more than passenger car,
but  is  less than a lorry. Two years ago I and Ekaterina have written
to  Ministry  of  Health  the offer to allocate the automobile to make
dental  mobile car. At that time we with her have consisted in society
of  volunteer  help weak and ailing people. As a rule it is old lonely
people  which  are  not  capable  to  live  without help of extraneous
people.  These  people could not visit hospital because they could not
go  independently.  We  have  suggested  to  come periodically to such
people  on  this  automobile with the necessary equipment to not carry
these  people  in hospital. This offer was approved and now we already
visit  more than fifty settlements in our area. Unfortunately tomorrow
I  will  go  without  Ekaterina. On this it will be difficult days. In
total  in  our area five such automobiles. We go in small villages and
settlements  where live people, which for the different reasons cannot
go  in city to cure a teeth. In our district a lot of such people. Now
we  help  not  only  to  such  people,  but  also  children  living in
children's  orphanages.  We  have many orphanages, but this orphanages
have  no  personal dental cabinet, on this every week Ekaterina, I and
ours colleague - dental surgeon, we go in various orphanages on dental
mobile  car. We became friends with all children and all children love
us  very much, because also we visit this orphanage in the days off to
give  help of various sort. The state allocates very few money for the
maintenance  and  contents  of orphanages. Buildings are very old. But
children  do  not have anybody to help them and to give them financial
support. That's why some people voluntary render the feasible help. We
help  to  repair  rooms.  Many  walls  do not have even wall-paper and
stucco. The floors and beds are very old. The conditions are terrible.
The  meal is awful. The children practically have no toys. When I look
at all this there are tears in my eyes. My girlfriend and I help to do
repair.  We  glue  wall-paper and paint the windows. We bring children
new  toys.  You  cannot imagine how children are pleased when we come.
And  they  are glad not only because they wait for new toys, they wait
for  us. They require kindness and caress very much. Again I write too
in  detail. xxxxxxxxx, forgive me, please. I simply wanted to tell that
I  do  not know if I can write to you tomorrow. Maybe I can write, but
only  some  lines  because I will not have time. Oh xxxxxxxxxxx! I should
go. Sincerely and with the best regards. Your Elvira.

                   

Hi,  my far, but dear friend xxxxxxx. Many thanks for your letter. It
was  the  long-awaited  letter. I am really madly glad to receive your
letter.  I  am really glad that I have found you. I should tell to you
that  I  have  ocean  of  emotions and sensations which I had no in my
heart before. And on this, my reason and my heart say me that I should
answer  by  sincerity  your constant sincerity. My heart and my reason
says me that I should tell what I feel now because it is a part of our
friendship  and  I should share it with you. I should tell that it was
required  all  the  day to write and think over this letter, because I
wanted to say just the right things to you. I didn't want to offend or
upset  you  in anyway, and it really bothered me that saying something
wrong  may  do that. I normally speak directly from my heart, and I am
right  now,  but  sometimes,  words  must  be carefully chosen. I feel
somewhat  lost  when  I  have no opportunity to use a computer to read
your  letter.  In  my soul, I feel contentment and joy when I think of
you.  I  have  never  done  this  in  my  life,  (tried  to initiate a
relationship halfway across the world), and I might have much to learn
about  how to proceed, but I am more than willing to learn whatever it
takes  to  succeed if that is your desire as well. I also believe that
couples  should  be  the  best friends possible, which trust and share
with  each  other  everything that they feel. I do not know if my word
and  thoughts  make  sense  to you, and I try very hard to put them in
typed words that you will feel and understand. I believe in God, and I
believe  that I have been put through trials to prepare me for meeting
a  man  with  whom  I will spend the rest of my life loving, to better
appreciate  him, respect him and cherish the love, that he would give;
only  asking  that I return the same. I hope that my words and letters
are  not  boring  to you, but they are much more than mere words, they
are  my thoughts and feelings, and I send them out to you. I very much
desire that you find it in your heart and are comfortable with sharing
your  personal feelings with me, I wish to know you on a more intimate
level,  I  would  like  you  to  share  your  dreams, your hopes, your
feelings  of  the heart with me, I truly wish to connect with you on a
level  that  goes  way  beyond mere friendship. Please do not think me
foolish  for  thinking  these  things,  I  believe  that  in order for
anything  to  succeed,  you  have  to be honest, and that is what I am
doing with you. Could you close your eyes for just a minute, and think
and  dream  of  what a life we could share, what it would be like, the
fun  of learning each other. I really believe that dreams do come true
for people which dare to believe in dreams, because if they believe in
them hard enough, dreams could become in reality. I guess that you are
shocked  that  I feel this way, but here, where I was raised, the gift
of  true love from a man is something that is more similar to a Mirage
or  self-deception,  rather  than  mutual  feeling  which two enamored
people  can  give each other. I hope that I am not rambling on with my
words.  I  have so much that I wish to share with you, and each time I
write to you, I feel there is never enough time to say everything that
I  want  to  say,  and  I  always feel that I have forgotten something
important  that  I wanted to share with you. xxxxxx, when I speak of
you  and  I  think  of you, it does not matter for me what anyone else
thinks.  I  want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I mean, I
find  that  you  are not only attractive as a man, I also speak of the
beauty  that  is  within you, beauty of your internal world, and alas,
this particular type of beauty is very special and rare. Most men have
only  appearances,  but not have beauty inside, and this is where true
beauty  is. This, is that for me is the most important and significant
in  all  limits  of  my  character, my soul and my consciousness. Your
words  spoken  to  me with so much kindness and care, they express the
beauty within you. I think that you are truly handsome, the essence of
what  beauty  should be, and there is nothing that anyone could say to
me  that  would  compel to change my mind even a little bit. I want to
reduce  essence of all my letter only to one thought. I do not know if
I  could  clearly explain all my thoughts and feelings, which overflow
me  now,  or  not.  I  want  to  tell that I feel, we become very good
friends  and I really enjoy our friendship. I aspire to learn you more
and  I  dare to hope that you suppose a thought that our relations can
develop  more  than  it  enough  for simple friendship. It is that way
which I feel. As always I hope that my letter finds you in good health
and  spirits, and I hope that every yours wish you have comes true one
day.  Today  I  have  happy  news. Ekaterina has recovered and now she
already  at  home.  Ekaterina came to me at the work to see and please
me.  She said that soon she will work. I was happy that soon I will be
able  to  see Ekaterina more often. I told her that I worked at mobile
car.  Ekaterina  was  upset that she didn't help me. In Russia it is a
lot  of orphanages because young and inexperienced women give birth to
children  and  then  understand,  that  have  no means of subsistence,
therefore  throw children in the street or hand over in orphanages. In
our  city  is  present  2 orphanages. Father refuses the child and his
mother,  therefore  mother  one  is not capable to bring up the child.
Frequently  children  appear  in  orphanages,  because  their  parents
alcoholics. xxxxxx, I will look forward to your reply as always with
anticipation  and  impatience...  I  hope  that your reply is not of a
harsh  nature,  and  I  look  forward to its arrival. With tenderness,
Elvira.



                                     


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